Fort Mifflin

Fort Mifflin, fort mifflin pa, william howe, ghost hunters, ghosthunters, taps

TAPS is back with new locations...uhm, lots of Jason and Grant. Let's see...did I mention new locations? Then there's..okay, it's exactly the same as always. The location is really cool, though.

It's time! If you were to listen to Sci-Fi, you'd think it was the second coming of Jesus. Instead, it's just Evil Jason and Grant. You're watching a brand new season of…
It will be interesting to see TAPS again after watching six episodes of International. I was very disappointed with the last leg of Season Three of Ghost Hunters, especially the Halloween episode. It should have been called Season Three: TAPS Goes Hollywood. Looks like we're stuck with Kris. Maybe she'll be better now that she has some ghost hunting behind her. At one point during the International recaps, I actually was looking forward to seeing Kris again. That's what six weeks of Shannon will do to you. Also, TAPS supposedly added a new guy to their team in the Halloween episode. Of course they picked the guy who has five kids and was a stay at home dad to be away from his family for months at a time instead of the married with no kids mom who had previous ghost hunting experience. Why? Because it's no longer about proving the paranormal exists with TAPS, it's about the almighty rating. I haven't seen this new guy in any of the advertisements, so I have no idea what's going on with him. However, I haven't seen anyone other than Jason and Grant in any of the advertisements, so who knows what the hell is going on?

At least we have Tango.

Time to find out if it really is only Jason and Grant left in TAPS as the commercials would suggest. What will Steve be scared of this week? Will Kris break a nail? Let's find out. It's season four, people! You know how this works, bitches.


TAPS goes to Fort Mifflin in Pennsylvania to look for ghosts of the revolution. That be the one with England, for you folks not in the know. Then TAPS goes to a prison to be the first in the secret room that was just found. Well, first besides the guys who discovered it. Grant has a seizure…and SURPRISE!!!! Steve is scared of something. It's good to be home again, isn't it? They actually show Steve and Tango for two seconds, so that's an improvement over the advertisements leading into the show.


We don't know who's on the team because the producers are so cocky, they decided a roll call was unnecessary. Why do I get the feeling the same people who edit International are now editing Ghost Hunters.

Case #1: Fort Mifflin, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

TAPS Headquarters, Rhode Island
Jason (who is eviler than ever with a thicker goatee), pumps the team up about Fort Mifflin by saying it was the fort that held off the enemy while George Washington's army headed to Valley Forge and that it was the deciding factor in the Revolutionary War. That's not entirely true and full of hyperbole (I'm a history nerd), but for the sake of the TV show, I'm okay with him exaggerating. By the way, just to get the show off on the right track, Tango is very excited; Steve looks like his usual in deep thought self; Kris looks like the valley girl in the history class waiting for the bell to ring.

I bet Jason is pissed that he has to give the case profiles now that Donna is gone. He is always pissed about something. No sign of the new guy.

And now…a "Moment with Steve." He talks about how excited he is to check out Fort Mifflin. As always, he says nothing particularly intelligent or new, but is so calm and laid back when he says it that you think he is saying something very thought provoking.

The Investigation
I mean is really necessary to leave the minority of the team in the van while the majority goes on the tour? It's just a way for Jason to keep Tango down! Seriously, just take everyone on the tour. We get the fort lowdown where the local historian repeats what Jason did about the story of Mifflin during the Revolution, but puts it in better perspective. You know, I don't like to judge people on TV by what they look like, but they say Philly is the ugliest city in the country. I'm just repeating what I've read, people. Apparently, the office manager sees leprechauns running around the place. The guy giving the tour tells about an officer's wife who hung herself from the railing of the officer's quarters. Apparently, the ghost decided to commit suicide again in front of a group of school children. Now, the cool stuff. There's secret underground rooms that weren't found for over 130 years. I bet only Jason and Grant get to go down there.

They show the team setting up (which International never did for some reason) and they run into Steve's worst nightmare! A whole nest of red ants! Steve had to go back to the van to change his jeans. Steve, you're never going to bang Kris like that.

LIGHTS OUT! (even though they're outside)

Cue the spooky music.

For the record book and those playing along at home, Evil Jason and Grant get the first ghost hunting on television of Season Four. Who'd of thunk? If you had Jason and Grant in the pool, you are the winner. If you didn't – what are you, an idiot? Anyways, they're hunting in the Officer's Quarters to try to get the ghost of Elizabeth, the officer's wife who hung herself. I wonder what an EVP is? Oh, Grant, thanks so much for telling us! Grant steals the having a conversation with the ghost technique instead of just barking orders at it. When that doesn't work, Evil Jason steps in, calls Grant a pussy and says "You got to provoke, boy!" They're hearing sounds, but Jason writes it off as the Mummy. No, really, he says he just heard the Mummy. It's going to be a long season.

Why in the blue hell is sponsoring Ghost Hunters?

The Great American Ghost Hunt! You can join TAPS at the Stanley Hotel on Halloween because it's the only place they can find haunted enough to spend six hours at. Take that Waverly Sanatorium!

Grant is trying to get Elizabeth to talk to them, but Jason won't let this mummy thing go. They hear something say "Mommy." Presumably, the mummy. Wait a minute? Is this just a bad joke?

Steve and Tango are in the Blacksmith Shop, which we've never seen before. Steve sees a spider and does not cry like a little girl! He must be out of pants. I think Steve got new tattoos. No spiders, I notice. Steve plays up to the ghost patriotism. He then screams like a four-year-old on Santa's lap. Yep, a spider.

Jason and Grant are in Casemate #5. I have no idea what a casemate is either. Grant makes the observation that he can't even see in these rooms. That's because you turned the light off! They get a hotspot on one of the benches through the thermal.

Tango went to use the bathroom…and he saw an entity in the process. Tango, those are pubic hairs, buddy. Nothing is bothering your little friend down there. He claims to have seen someone walking out of the women's bathroom, so he goes into the girls' room looking for floaters and finds nothing. Mysteriously, Kris hasn't been on the episode yet. They mini-DV the hallway to the bathrooms.

Kris is at the control center. She's not really doing anything, but we pay her to be pretty on TV, so damn it – she'd better be pretty on TV.

Jason and Grant are going down to Casemate #11. This is the very small tunnels under the ground that was recently discovered. Jason sees someone crawling down the tunnel so…


Jason may be evil, but he's also claustrophobic, so he has to bail. What? Is he Steve all of the sudden? Now Grant is seeing things move. What? Are they Brian all of the sudden? The tunnel leads to a dead end. Emphasis on the dead. Ha! That's a ghost joke, people.

Kris is still at command central. Jason has to talk her into ghost hunting because, surprise!...she doesn't want to. Ah, familiarity and all, right? They want her to go to Casemate #11 because she is the smallest. They didn't actually say this, but I'm making assumptions. Jason defends her by saying she is still training so she might get scared. Kris looks into the camera and stammers something that makes her sound like Miss Teen South Carolina. They shouldn't let he talk into the camera anymore. She keep repeating the mantra "He's just a person" to herself. Even though he's not. Well, not anymore. The flashlight is going wonky, so Kris bails. Grant makes excuses for her because he's the good guy (read: no goatee). Yep. Kris still sucks. Jason gives her a pep talk by telling her life is a challenge. If this was a dude, he'd be yelling at him.

Steve and Tango are in the Commandants Quarters where they are crawling around in the dirt. Steve is too scared to crawl in the crawlspace, so he makes Tango do it. I'm detecting a theme in the show here. They wacky, fun-loving ghost hunters music is playing so this is the comic relief. Oh, I guess it was a bet cause Tango won $60.

Jason and Grant are back in Casemate #11 to be the hero for Kris. They hear odd noises and feel weird. Whenever Jason move his head it makes a crazy sound like he's breaking the sound barrier. Now they are hearing scraping from the insides of the walls. Cue the scary ghost hunter music cuz stuff is happening. Jason calls on his inner-Brian and sees a shadow while Grant feels a cold spot. Apparently, Jason no longer hears the Mummy. Grant falls down and calls for the camera as we…


Grant saw a face…conveniently just off camera. He says he almost crapped his pants. He describes the face.

Then they send Tango down there. Not Tango!! Now Tango almost chickens out. He starts by introducing himself to the ghost. We get a lot of spinning shots of walls. For like three straight minutes. This is really terrible. Now Tango bails. Tango felt all the same things Jason and Grant did. In the interest of fairness, Jason acts like he's not mad at Tango. Jason declares "When in doubt, get the hell out!" Well. We all know that Robb coined that phrase on International and it actually goes, "When in doubt, you have to throw it out." That's evil Jason for you, trying to steal other people's catchphrases.

They do a wrap-up, where Kris gets her most time on camera all night. Wayne (the tour guide) is amazed by TAPS equipment. Jason and Grant give Kris kudos, even though she did nothing.


No fist bump for you, Kris!

The Analysis
They are actually making Kris do some analysis this season. Tango find a shadow actually moving. What? They have shadows on tape? Steve hears an EVP and immediately request that Kris take a listen. Almost as if he was prompted to give Kris as much screen time as possible. I don't like this EVP. It sounds fabricated. Tango finds something in the bunker area on Jason and Grant's tape. Only he finds nothing. Steve has to actually point something out to him. Why did you stop the tape, Tango, if you didn't see anything?

The Findings
Now, the findings, where we go over everything we just did in the last segment making the last segment a complete waste of time. Special Bonus EVP! This one is from Jason and Grant in Casement #11. It sounds like some electronic voice garbled. Another EVP from Casement #11. This is the only one that sounds like a real EVP. The secret thing Tango caught but didn't catch is the outline of a person on the thermal. We kind of see it once, then we don't get to see it again. Why are they not replaying the evidence?

The Reveal
The boys are back in town! They're with my main man, Wayne. They explain to Wayne their feelings about Casement #11. They no likey. Grant once again claims he wasn't scared, just startled. Wayne talks about the prisoner who escaped from the tunnels and was transferred to Eastern State Penitentiary which gives the editing team a chance to break out the classic Brian "Dude, run!" footage. That footage is always welcome in my home. They play the EVPS for Wayne. Then they totally frontload him instead of letting him figure out what's being said. The first one says "May I have some water, sir?" Grant explains that the sound guy chugging water at the time. The second EVP says "The boss wants it deeper." So says Jason, but he's evil, so who knows if you can trust him. They play the infamous Mummy footage. They tease that they're going to play the thermal imaging stuff until…


They show the hotspot on the cot. Now we get the thermal human silhouette footage. There's a stove that supposedly hasn't been used in years that is emitting heat next to the figure. They're saying it looks like someone is cooking something on the stove. More evidence from Casement #11. It's the moving shadow. It comes out of the wall, does a little dance and then just moves back into the wall.

Status: Haunted.

Jason says it's a residual haunting. Grant explains to us that a residual haunting it just an imprint of a person in a place. You can't interact with it. It's not intelligent. It has no idea that you are there. That would kind of blow the whole "Can I have some of the sound guy's water?" story out of the uhm….water, then doesn't it?

Wayne is pleased.

Car talk.

Bonus Fist Bump!

Overall: A great place to open the new season of Ghost Hunters. I'm torn on this episode. They got some great evidence, but after the last couple of legs of Season Three, I'm hesitant to accept any of their evidence as legitimate. Still, I'm going to say this was a pretty good episode. I wish they would show less seeing of shadows stuff. Also, this five man team is getting a little old. I feel Ghost Hunters was at their best when you didn't know who was going to show up from week to week other than Jason, Grant and Steve. Kris…at least she wasn't in this one much. Where was the new guy? It totally pays to be a contest winner on Ghost Hunters!. Until next week, psychos!

I also recorded Destination Truth. I don't have time to watch it tonight, but if you'd like to know my thoughts on the show or share your own thoughts on the show, I'll discuss it on Sunday in my "A Fool's Utopia" column.

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